my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
