how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I came so hard my ears popped.
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