SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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