Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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