TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
