So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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