I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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