Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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