Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
