Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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