Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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