in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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