We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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