Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
