Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sext me about skeletons
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
