im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
