you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
