i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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