big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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