you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
