Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
