I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
