You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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