i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
