I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
