Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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