I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
