You're my little dorito
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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