i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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