I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
