would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Randomize
