Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
