And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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