wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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