considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
