Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
