Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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