So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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