i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
