Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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