i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
