i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize