chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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