I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
