I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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