I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
