I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
