There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
