Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
