and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
