next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
