i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
