you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize