she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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