I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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