pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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