hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
