I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize