Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You've changed since you got that strap on
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
